Wallowing in it

Everyone has moments (or days) when the unfairness of life seems to be oozing over everything, when the negatives outweigh the positives, when pity creeps in and covers their eyes.  So, what to do?

You throw a pity party and no one comes.  And, THAT only makes you feel worse.

Cloe Madanes suggested in her family therapy theory that one way to control problems is to exaggerate them.  Or, in regular words - if you are feeling pitiful, wallow in it.  If you are angry, wallow in it.

So, I have been doing this.

When I am angry, I go up to my room (so I do not look like a lunatic) and I hit pillows, I swing my arms, I make horrible faces, I say nasty things - and in about 3 minutes of active and theatrical anger, I wear myself out and I start laughing.

When I am pitying myself, I moan, I whine, I cry, I say all the things that are unfair, I throw myself on the bed - and if it was not dramatic enough, I do it again.  Within a little bit I am once more laughing.

After the laughter stops, I find I am in a mood to work through the situation which is causing the negative emotions.  And action has always felt so very much better to me than wallowing in feelings I do not FEEL I can control.

So - the next time you are feeling bad, may I suggest taking a bit of time to wallow in it?  Doing so just might change your day.

Laura