POEMS FROM 1994
10May94
1. Spring after winter, too harsh
you are new to my world
of fire and storm
you have brought trust in seed
to a previously barren land
as the future waters
you plantings
we will both be surprised
with what may grow
2. ------
you crept up on me
like a shadow or a cloud
Omens for-cried your coming
but I was blind
3. Hello
The omens fore-cried
your coming
to all who'd listen
but I had no ears
The gods blazed
your name
across the night sky
but so long I've been blind
I learned to see
and hear again
as I learned to live
but the omens were gone
So you took me
by surprise
when you came to me
and gave me yourself
4. Phoenix
The sunset was crimson-touched
It was the colour of madness
and sex and anger
That red faded to cinnamon
and then the blue of beginning
So here I stand, indigo-shadowed
awaiting rebirth in the sunrise
5. Flying
Long I spent caged
until flying was not even
a memory
One night,
after being hit
too many times
the bars shattered
my wings were weak
my flight unsteady
but I was flying once more.
I soared upwards
reaching for moon-dust
and found fetters still
In rage
I cut off my feet
on stumps I could not walk
but my wings were steel true
I spread my wings once more
flew again
The fetters slipped my body
and I touched
for one bright instant
the burning moon-streams
The Pretty Young Wife 17June94
I dreamed
one night
not long ago
of trying to fly
with soap bubble wings
and cement feet
I beat my wings
against the wind
until they shredded
to rags
and yet
imagining them still whole
I kept beating my wings
down onto the air
until I drowned in dishwater
Southern River Night 01July94
The radio is blasting
and the night is southern river deep
Rock fills my ears
while eve's flow fills my body
together they merge in my soul
loosing the ghosts chained long ago
I see them now
dancing to seductive lyrics
from fire and satin and Georgia heat
melded to magnolia bloom
My body twitches
as it attempts to join the dance
My ghosts are friendly tonight
their knives left behind
with their chains
The moon shines outside my window
The music and river swell
And I leave to go dancing through damp grass
Grandmother's Body in the Hospital 04Jul94
I.
My grandmother's body
lies here
upon this hospital bed
SHE is no longer
here
and her body wastes
as memory, mind, and heart
waste
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
II.
The nurses station
is outside the door
My grandmother's death
is measured in a zigzag line
on the monochrome monitor
labeled number 16.
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
III.
The sign
above her bed
reduces her body
to a slab of meat
long past its prime
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
a note to you 23Jul94
I do not know
just who "you" are.
I think
you are me -
not who I am
but
who I am becoming.
You are
beyond them.
Away
from the nightmares.
I wanted
to tell you
how much I
admire you.
Being strong
enough to go
to leave them
behind
I carried them
for years...
prologue 23Jul94
born female
it took me
twenty years
to claim my body
others
owned it first
possession
an object
then
for a time
no one laid mark
upon it
I think
an eon passed
that way
before I
grew courage enough
to claim myself
and erase their marks
His Little Misses 23Jul94
My mother labored 13 hours
before they cut her open
and pulled me forth
Complications occurred.
She died while
they wiped her blood
from my face
The first noises
I made in this world
were screams
Her dirge.
My father made
grief sounds
before he remarried
She was a secretary
before she became
His Wife
My Mother
I was 4
when she died
in a car accident.
I made no grief
My father decided
not to remarry
It wasn't necessary.
He had Me...
13Sept94
1. The Friend 13Sept94
dreams of kaleidoscope colors
haunt me
twist my nights into surreal
marescape
days of searing sunlight
burn me
tear me into pieces
for the hounds
and you
solicitous in your friendship
ask me
"How are you doing today?"
2. Ripples 13Sept94
Serena was born at midnight
pulled from her mother's bloody womb
She grew up in the 80's
graduated high school in 91
In college she found Jesus
a baby, and a boy to marry
In June Melicent was born
Cut from her mother's bloody womb
At the age of two she died
held in rigored arms
Her father was declared insane,
Legally, due to childhood abuse
Two shrinks and three years later
he married Lisa Marie
Jade Leanne was born in August
3. Baby's First Breath 13Sept94
On a night when even the stars throbbed
I thought to move beyond my dragons
But clouds crossed the moon and left crumbs
To light my way through Magellen's Straight
Wrecked on reefs I didn't know existed
I saw the ocean reach up to eat the crumbs
Unfilled, it looked to me for substance
It opened its tsunami maw to devour me
Swept up, along with the simple sand
I tried to swim the crest into the air
My arms failed me and I went under
Only to find there is a triumph in drowning.
4. Midnight Weeding 13Sept94
There they are,
lined in the rows of my garden
just as they were planted
or as they planted themselves.
Some blew to me on the winds
and some I sought in the shadow
Others came upon sunlight
and some grew out of blood shed
These are my ghosts
sown by fate
tended by memory
reaped over again by moonlight
and a trembling hand.
The Drowning 16Sept94
You nestled within your mother
in a microcosmic ocean
for three-quarters of a year
before a full moon's pull
brought a tidal wave
to expel you into evolution
Like any of Neptune's creatures
captured within the web
you slipped into waiting hands
You felt air burn your skin
opened your mouth in protest
only to begin the drowning
Oracle 26Sept94
Here and There
and Elsewhere
beyond the
mountain ring
beyond the
slivered night
and past the
shadowed deep
look for the
white-clad stranger
within a
hidden well
to ask your
question vital
about a
simple grail
A 90's Woman 28Sept94
At 6 a.m.
washed and dried
I cover my skin
with designer lotion
I squish my body
into size 7/8 jeans -
steel masquerading
as stone washed denim.
I pull on a
blue ribbed top
to emphasize firm,
underwired breasts.
Between
shirt and jeans,
my natural shape
is molded, concealed.
I leave my house
to be among my peers -
to become
anonymous.
1. Spring after winter, too harsh
you are new to my world
of fire and storm
you have brought trust in seed
to a previously barren land
as the future waters
you plantings
we will both be surprised
with what may grow
2. ------
you crept up on me
like a shadow or a cloud
Omens for-cried your coming
but I was blind
3. Hello
The omens fore-cried
your coming
to all who'd listen
but I had no ears
The gods blazed
your name
across the night sky
but so long I've been blind
I learned to see
and hear again
as I learned to live
but the omens were gone
So you took me
by surprise
when you came to me
and gave me yourself
4. Phoenix
The sunset was crimson-touched
It was the colour of madness
and sex and anger
That red faded to cinnamon
and then the blue of beginning
So here I stand, indigo-shadowed
awaiting rebirth in the sunrise
5. Flying
Long I spent caged
until flying was not even
a memory
One night,
after being hit
too many times
the bars shattered
my wings were weak
my flight unsteady
but I was flying once more.
I soared upwards
reaching for moon-dust
and found fetters still
In rage
I cut off my feet
on stumps I could not walk
but my wings were steel true
I spread my wings once more
flew again
The fetters slipped my body
and I touched
for one bright instant
the burning moon-streams
The Pretty Young Wife 17June94
I dreamed
one night
not long ago
of trying to fly
with soap bubble wings
and cement feet
I beat my wings
against the wind
until they shredded
to rags
and yet
imagining them still whole
I kept beating my wings
down onto the air
until I drowned in dishwater
Southern River Night 01July94
The radio is blasting
and the night is southern river deep
Rock fills my ears
while eve's flow fills my body
together they merge in my soul
loosing the ghosts chained long ago
I see them now
dancing to seductive lyrics
from fire and satin and Georgia heat
melded to magnolia bloom
My body twitches
as it attempts to join the dance
My ghosts are friendly tonight
their knives left behind
with their chains
The moon shines outside my window
The music and river swell
And I leave to go dancing through damp grass
Grandmother's Body in the Hospital 04Jul94
I.
My grandmother's body
lies here
upon this hospital bed
SHE is no longer
here
and her body wastes
as memory, mind, and heart
waste
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
II.
The nurses station
is outside the door
My grandmother's death
is measured in a zigzag line
on the monochrome monitor
labeled number 16.
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
III.
The sign
above her bed
reduces her body
to a slab of meat
long past its prime
Pt. is blind
Pt. is a feed
a note to you 23Jul94
I do not know
just who "you" are.
I think
you are me -
not who I am
but
who I am becoming.
You are
beyond them.
Away
from the nightmares.
I wanted
to tell you
how much I
admire you.
Being strong
enough to go
to leave them
behind
I carried them
for years...
prologue 23Jul94
born female
it took me
twenty years
to claim my body
others
owned it first
possession
an object
then
for a time
no one laid mark
upon it
I think
an eon passed
that way
before I
grew courage enough
to claim myself
and erase their marks
His Little Misses 23Jul94
My mother labored 13 hours
before they cut her open
and pulled me forth
Complications occurred.
She died while
they wiped her blood
from my face
The first noises
I made in this world
were screams
Her dirge.
My father made
grief sounds
before he remarried
She was a secretary
before she became
His Wife
My Mother
I was 4
when she died
in a car accident.
I made no grief
My father decided
not to remarry
It wasn't necessary.
He had Me...
13Sept94
1. The Friend 13Sept94
dreams of kaleidoscope colors
haunt me
twist my nights into surreal
marescape
days of searing sunlight
burn me
tear me into pieces
for the hounds
and you
solicitous in your friendship
ask me
"How are you doing today?"
2. Ripples 13Sept94
Serena was born at midnight
pulled from her mother's bloody womb
She grew up in the 80's
graduated high school in 91
In college she found Jesus
a baby, and a boy to marry
In June Melicent was born
Cut from her mother's bloody womb
At the age of two she died
held in rigored arms
Her father was declared insane,
Legally, due to childhood abuse
Two shrinks and three years later
he married Lisa Marie
Jade Leanne was born in August
3. Baby's First Breath 13Sept94
On a night when even the stars throbbed
I thought to move beyond my dragons
But clouds crossed the moon and left crumbs
To light my way through Magellen's Straight
Wrecked on reefs I didn't know existed
I saw the ocean reach up to eat the crumbs
Unfilled, it looked to me for substance
It opened its tsunami maw to devour me
Swept up, along with the simple sand
I tried to swim the crest into the air
My arms failed me and I went under
Only to find there is a triumph in drowning.
4. Midnight Weeding 13Sept94
There they are,
lined in the rows of my garden
just as they were planted
or as they planted themselves.
Some blew to me on the winds
and some I sought in the shadow
Others came upon sunlight
and some grew out of blood shed
These are my ghosts
sown by fate
tended by memory
reaped over again by moonlight
and a trembling hand.
The Drowning 16Sept94
You nestled within your mother
in a microcosmic ocean
for three-quarters of a year
before a full moon's pull
brought a tidal wave
to expel you into evolution
Like any of Neptune's creatures
captured within the web
you slipped into waiting hands
You felt air burn your skin
opened your mouth in protest
only to begin the drowning
Oracle 26Sept94
Here and There
and Elsewhere
beyond the
mountain ring
beyond the
slivered night
and past the
shadowed deep
look for the
white-clad stranger
within a
hidden well
to ask your
question vital
about a
simple grail
A 90's Woman 28Sept94
At 6 a.m.
washed and dried
I cover my skin
with designer lotion
I squish my body
into size 7/8 jeans -
steel masquerading
as stone washed denim.
I pull on a
blue ribbed top
to emphasize firm,
underwired breasts.
Between
shirt and jeans,
my natural shape
is molded, concealed.
I leave my house
to be among my peers -
to become
anonymous.
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