My Introduction to counseling clients

When I meet a new client, I have a typical pattern of introduction.

First we talk about forms.  And confidentiality - "What we talk about is confidential unless you are a danger to yourself, a danger to someone else, there is instance of abuse, or I am compelled by law (like a subpoena)."

Then I introduce myself.

"A couple of things about me.  First, I have an inner nerd.  That means I love homework and I sometimes use big words - not cause I am trying to be smart, but because I just love language.  So if my inner nerd peeks out and I say something you don't understand, let me know.  I will be happy to explain.  Heck, my inner nerd will be thrilled! Also, because I have the inner nerd, everything we do will have a reason and evidence that shows it works.  If you have any questions, just holler.  You have the right to know why we are doing things.

And about homework...  The reason for doing homework is that if you work on things between sessions, you will move through therapy to your goals much faster.  I am happy to spend time with you, but I bet you have things you would rather do than hang here with me.

And to go with my inner nerd, I have an inner hippy.  So, I will be asking about all sorts of things - from spirituality to nutrition to how you are feeling and thinking.  I believe we are all part of a system - and little changes in one area can help make big changes in another.

Finally, I am a student.  No matter how many letters I eventually have after my name, I will ALWAYS be a student.  YOU are the expert on your life!  I am a student who has learned some tools.  Together we will work to get you to the goals you want to reach."


... At this point, I say - "So, now it's your turn.  What's up?"  And the work begins.

Thinking about this today, my question is:  What inner people do you have?  What parts of yourself do you celebrate in your life?  Which ones do you hide?  And - how different would your life be if you celebrated all your facets??

Laura

Serendipity

Sometimes things happen in your life (or at least they do in my life) that have no meaning at the time.  In fact, they are hassles - taking energy and providing nothing of value.  

Or so it seems.

Then, some time in the future - perhaps even years away from those "hassles" - the skills learned, the resiliency developed, the knowledge you wanted in the first place - those things become a source of comfort, strength, or wisdom.  Often, those things become the tools with which you find the ability to help others.

Today, I have considered all the ways, big and small, events and experiences from my past have resonated through my life to provide resources I never knew I had.  Today, I considered how trauma in my past provided wisdom to help another.  Today, I heart-felt the difference between "being broken" and "being tempered".

Laura

Squash Fritatta - Recipe

Today's post is a recipe.

Just made lunch.  Had venison tenderloin simmered in homemade chicken broth.  Had boiled potatoes with a dollop of sour cream.  And had squash fritatta (think cheese and squash casserole).

Fritatta:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Oil a deep-dish casserole dish (I used the Pampered Chef Covered Stoneware Baker (12½" x 9½" x 5½", 12½ cups - http://www.pamperedchef.com/our_products/catalog/product.jsp?productId=13833&categoryCode=FH )... but any casserole dish would work.  Covered makes for a moister casserole.  Open makes for one with a crispy top and that is a bit drier.

Grate 8 ounces of sharp cheddar cheese - divide into 4 piles. (base, squash 1, squash 2, top of whole thing)
Slice 3 medium squash (about 8 inches long) into 1/8th inch slices (or just medium thin slices) - Keep separate so have three piles of slices squash.
Whisk 3 eggs until completely mixed.
Add 1/4 cup cream, heavy whipping cream, or milk to the eggs.  Whisk the milk into the eggs.

In the oiled casserole dish, sprinkle a thin layer of cheese (about 1/4 of the cheese) over the bottom.  Layer on ONE sliced squash.  Sprinkle with about 2 ounces of the grated cheese (1/4 of the cheese). Repeat with second squash.  Repeat with third squash and last of cheese.

Pour egg/milk mix over the top of everything.  Cover.  Put into oven and bake for about 30-45 minutes.  Done when edges are bubbling and the whole casserole has set (no jiggly parts).

Customizations:

You can do this with ANY veggie.  You can swap out or combine different types of cheese.  You can sub in soy cheese and soy milk or other alternative milk products.  You can add spices (salt, rosemary, onion, garlic, etc.)  You can use muffin tins for ready-to-go casseroles (if you do this SHRED the veggies).

1 hour time total from prep to eating:

To get the whole meal done at the same time:  Cut the venison up into bite-sized chunks and put in a large covered skillet.  Set to boil, then reduce to medium and simmer until all else is done.  Prep and put in the casserole.  Peel the taters, chunk into medium chunks and set to boil (when casserole timer reads 25 minutes left).  Once boils (about 20 minutes left) turn down to medium and mostly cover (tip the pot lid so it has air circulating).  When timer rings, everything should be done.

Hope you enjoy the meal!
Laura

Strength versus weakness

Sometimes the clients want to know WHY they have been in abusive relationships or why they found their lives bound by addiction.  They want to know what is broken and wrong with them that these damaging influences are in their lives.  They want to know why they are so weak.

This is often why the first out of session task is to complete a family tree with additions for substance use/misuse, alcohol use/misuse, mental health issues, relationship information, and anything else important to that client.  Several clients recently have been in tears looking at family histories of addiction, abuse, and broken relationships.  Knowing the stories is different from seeing the chains of those stories connecting generation to generation.

When looking at the multi-generational history of abuse or addiction, the question really is HOW could they have avoided this!  Predisposition is genetically inherited for addiction and for many mental health illnesses.  Behavior patterns are taught from the baby's first breath throughout his or her life.

The statement following the question of HOW is this:  And what do you think of the strength you have which you are using to break this pattern?

I ask:  Have you looked at how very much work you are doing to NOT CONTINUE this cycle?

When the shaky smile appears, I say softly, You have so much to be proud about.

And then for a while there is silence as awareness seeps through being.

Then the client squares his or her shoulders, seems just a bit taller... and the journey begins....


Today my thought is this - how many times do we look at one small part of the picture and berate ourselves for weakness when looking at the larger picture shows our strength shining through?

Laura

When the Bear gets you!

Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you!

Today I feel like I have been gotten – used to scrub the woodland floor and then dunked in the creek.  It has been a long day.

So I think about what it is within us that we draw on when we are dragging…  How we get ourselves (and sometimes our family and friends) through.

Today, my strength came from laughing and from routine.  

Laughing – I was so fuzzy and tired this morning I reached for my toothpowder (do not use toothpaste because of allergies, have toothpowder of salt, soda, and herbs – tastes nasty, but does the job) and grabbed the bottle of water conditioner for my fish tank.  Put that on my toothbrush instead of toothpowder.  Thankfully, I realized my mistake before I put the stuff in my mouth!  The humor of the mix-up (and the irony that the water conditioner might just taste better than the tooth powder) have provided laughter power for getting through the day.

The other source of strength was the routine.  I get up.  I check email and facebook.  And then, I do my work.  Today’s work – already scheduled – was counseling 3 clients, calling tomorrow’s clients to confirm, taking my son to his appointment, and in 45 minutes – online supervision.  There is less energy, I think, in making it through, than there is in creating a whole new day out of 24 hours of unscheduled time.  Today required me to show up and to be able to listen.  I took lots of notes, responded, and counseled.  It was quiet and linear.  I was tired, but I was present.  And that was enough.

So, now I think about the day and about how it is we find the strength to carry on – no matter what the bear has been doing….

Laura

Box of Joy

Today in therapy, one of my clients was describing her life. Like many of my clients, and many of my friends... and like me - we all had in common the fact that often we do so much for others that we do not take time to have joy in our lives.

Therefore, this client's homework was to create a box of joy. What is a box of joy?

Well, an index card holder and a pack of index cards is the basic material. Dividers are set up for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, 1/2 a day, and a full day. Dividers can be made by turning a card sideways and cutting off a bit of it.

Once dividers are made, the goal is to create at least 3 cards per day.

What goes on a card?

SOMETHING JOYFUL, FUN, or RESTFUL.

For example - some of my 5 minute joys is a cup of tea, watching a sunrise or sunset, or laying out beads for a bracelet, or coloring with fine line markers.  Some of my day-long joys are hiking, photo trips along the Blue Ridge Parkway, and cooking and recipe creation.  It can be anything you have done before, you want to do, you have seen someone else do...  There are u-tube videos and Pinterest photos...  There are stress-reducing self-help books.

 So my question to you is this - What fun things are in your life?  What joyful things are there?  Do you have enough joy in your life?  If not, you might want to consider creating your own box - to draw yourself out a surprise when you have 5 minutes or a whole day of time.

Laura

This is from my last Blue Ridge Parkway photo trip.  :)

An Introduction

I have never posted a blog before.  I have friends who post blogs and their continual creativity awes me.  How they find daily postings within themselves confounds me.

I have posted recipes, thoughts, and other work to my facebook page for the last several years.  However, my facebook page is locked and private.  And, as time passes, I find within myself the urge to share my recipes and thoughts…  and so… a blog.

Over the next several days/weeks, I will post the backlog of work from my Facebook page.  And then, as I create new recipes, have a thought here or there, or take photos of spring flowers, I will add to this blog.  I welcome your comments.  You are free to share anything you find here provided you attach my name to it and do not use it for your own financial gain.

Who am I?

That may be important as well – if you are deciding to follow this blog.  

I am an emerging counselor.  That means I am in the last bit of my Master’s of Mental Health Counseling Program.  Right now, I am an intern at the local Free Clinic.  So, much of what I think about is the state of mental health and trying to make sense of how different reality is from the myriad books I have read. 

**HOWEVER, any information posted on this blog is for educational purposes only and is NOT meant for diagnostic or individual counseling purposes.  If you feel you have mental health needs, please consult a qualified mental health professional or go to your local emergency room.

I have multiple allergies/intolerances..  I am allergic/intolerant to wheat, corn, coconut, millet, all grains, bananas, and lots of other things.  Someday I will post about those.  I participate in online support groups for corn-allergies.  I have fibromyalgia, but when I control the allergies, I am able to reduce or eliminate almost all fibromyalgia symptoms.  My theory is that allergies cause underlying inflammation... and it is this inflammation which triggers fibro symptom expression.

I am the single mother of a 16 year old son.  Family relationships and being mom are topics of interest. 

I am overweight.  Weight control and weight loss are topics I return to.  Often, these are tied to the Prochaska model “Stages of Change”.  Between allergies/intolerance, weight, and a lifetime love of food – I create a lot of recipes.  

I have a small (25-30 pound) dog.  Inky is neurotic, but lovable   He is a rescue dog and has taken quite a while (over a year) to recover mostly from his previous home.  He still has lots of anxiety.  His hips have damage and he also has hip dysplasia.  He takes medication daily.  

I have my own mental health issues.  I am OCD.  It took me years to learn to control the OCD.  Now, I am organized, and adapting to change takes me effort, but it possible.  I no longer have lists of lists nor do I obsessively arrange things.  However, I can organize the heck out of any schedule or event.  I have some degree of depression or cyclothymia.  This is controlled with 20 mg daily of Prozac (which lets me sleep), cognitive methods, and practicing of wellness.  We’ll talk about that on occasion as well.  Wellness is extremely important to me.  Wellness allows me to channel my mental health issues into strengths (like organization, accomplishing projects when have the energy boost of low level hypomania, etc.)  I have a holistic view of wellness and like to incorporate multiple domains.

I am a liberal in most political aspects.  That is something that will on occasion be a topic of conversation.  So will religion.

Pretty much – this is a blog where whatever comes to mind will find its way onto the screen.  Hopefully, there will be bits and pieces you enjoy or can use.  And, when something neither appeals to you nor applies to you, you are most welcome to skip that post or comment on your own point of view.  

I hope you are looking forward to this as much as I am.

Laura