Balance - what it is and what it is not. Equity vs Equality in life tasks.

Often, balance is defined as being able to do everything with equal effort and equal time (equality of time and resources). And if you do not have that balance, it is attributed to a personal failure in time management or in boundaries, or just of character.

Image obtained from http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/ajAerM1_700b_v2.jpg
Discussion of image and related images at http://culturalorganizing.org/the-problem-with-that-equity-vs-equality-graphic/

I think that balance, when defined as everything getting equal time in all aspects of life, is BS. However, the idea of balance calls strongly to me. And, there is certainly more than 1 narrow definition of balance. For me, Balance has more to do with dialectics (ability to accept 2 separate, sometimes opposing ideas at the same time) and equity instead of the either/or of strict equality. 



To determine life balance, I first did an in-depth exploration of what I really needed. And compared that to what I thought I "should" do in any given 24 hour period. (There is some part of me that truly believes there ARE 36 or more hours in a day... So I have to have outside structure to NOT overschedule my life).

I know I MUST have 8 hours or more of sleep a day. That went on the schedule first. I know I have to tend to typical activities of life - showering, eating, getting dressed, etc. Into everyone's life comes household tasks. Those went on next. Part of my household tasks include cooking everything from scratch so that I can avoid my multiple allergens. It is a fact of my life that a significant amount of time must be spent on canning, cooking, crafting body products, etc. So these things all went into the time-bucket.

Next, I had to plan work time. Remember that part of me that has messed up time ideas? Yeah! If I do not limit myself, I would schedule crazy hours. So, set hours for work. And remember the allergens? Each day I go out of my controlled environment at home, I experience allergen exposure. That means my blood pressure increases, I have inflammation issues, and multiple other long-term build-up symptoms. So, I cannot work 40 hours in a row. That goes into the planning. I have to take a day off in between.

My boss, the owner of the practice, wants the office closed to clients at 6 PM. She would prefer me to go home shortly thereafter. This provides a boundary.

I have family that requires time - and with whom I need to connect on a regular basis. My husband is growing a small business. So, he has a work schedule I need to accommodate in order to sync free time. His daughter is here every other week - so her schedule needs to be considered in order for us to have family time together. My son, who is an adult and lives in a nearby town, tends to swing by fairly frequently. Time needs to be allocated for him as well.

Now, it comes the things that I love - reading, writing, crafting, hiking, pictures of wildflowers.

And then comes the necessity to build in quiet minutes into each day - moments to immerse in the moment and senses so that I recharge.

But, nowhere in these considerations is the idea that all things should get equal time. To each item is allocation of time needed. Order of importance depends on a hierarchy of safety, maintenance of life, well-being.

So, my schedule looks a lot like this:

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Wake up at 6. Get ready. In the office by 7:30. Clients 8 am to 6 pm. go home. Home by 6:45. Dinner. Do a load of laundry. Family and Dogs. Get ready for bed. Bed at 9 PM.

Friday - Up at 8, or sleep in if needed. Play with dogs. household tasks. Marathon cooking and crafting for the next 7 days. Free and Fun time. Daughter time after school until bed. Bed at 9 PM

Saturday. Wake up at 6. Get ready. In the office by 7:30. Clients 8 am to 6 pm. go home. Home by 6:45. Dinner. Do a load of laundry. Family and Dogs. Get ready for bed. Bed at 10:30.

Sunday - Family time = often hiking or other activity. No counseling work. No housework other than throwing laundry through. Will fold the laundry on Monday between notes and paperwork.

Monday - Some Mondays I sleep in until noon depending on what my body needs.  Other Mondays, I am up at 7. Ready for the day by 8:30 (extra time for a second cup of coffee or tea). Set up environment (select soundtrack or movies to play, get dogs out new chew toys, set something on the stove to cook for the day to scent the house with wonderful smells, pick out fuzzy socks and select fabrics of clothes to maximize pleasant textures, etc). Meander through paperwork - taking a break every 30 minutes to move around and stretch. Breaks include checking Facebook, calling friends, short essays, walking with the dogs, etc.

And, as with all things, there is moderation. That moderation allows calmness and centeredness. Not all things get equal time, but all things get the time needed. To me, that is balance.

And, the schedule is flexible like a willow tree - has shape but responds to winds of life, moving with the flow of the moment without losing integrity.

So, to me Balance is more about being calmly centered, intentional in meeting the needs of various parts of your life, with boundaries to prevent job-creep, and without damaging one part of your life to enable others. It is not so much integration as it is a mindful allocation of time and resources.